Devotion II Thessalonians- 8/6/21

To think of God’s faithfulness is amazing. To think He is perfect, He is apart from evil, and He brings people into His world in heaven from His son Jesus Christ is amazing. He could have not given us the chance at eternal life to live for Him and to spend with Him in heaven which we would have deserved because of our sin but He still wanted us with Him.

He is faithful to His word in letting an ultimate “lamb of God” come to earth one without blemish to die for our sin which we could have died and been a part of God’s wrath. He then put that wrath on His Son, His only Son, to die and go in our place!

I can’t fathom what God the Father would dwell on when He looked at His son and saw the world’s sin and turned away. He was seen as sin to God because every sin was laid on Him.

He bled and then died taking our punishment and rose again, bodily and is one day coming again!

To think He has done so much in people’s lives in the bible and in our lives as well, how great is God’s faithfulness!

I keep falling short of Him. I must realize though also because I keep depending on my strength that even if I am faithful it is God’s glory I should depend on because I still can’t make things “right” with Him. I still have sin no matter what I do but I can sin less because there are things I can avoid as I know what is right and wrong.

I must remember what He has taught me up to this point in my life and to resist the devil’s plans which is to avoid living for God.

But the Lord is faithful, who will establish you and guard you from the evil one. II Thessalonians 3:3

I should use my body as a living sacrifice to God.

To have my body to be to serve Him totally and fully. And treat it like it is an instrument of “righteousness” to God like when Paul encouraged the people He wrote to which we find in Romans 6:13.

I miss the intimacy that I used to have with relationship to God and I want to return to that because it is what He desires of all of us, to be close to Him.

God may we all see how awesome it is to live for You. Thank You Lord for Your faithfulness and may we be established in Your will and keep guard so You can keep us from the evil one Satan. Amen.

Strength in the Lord- 7/31/21

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To “seek His face always” is good advice. I must do that!

Where does strength greater than us come from? Isn’t it too easy to only seek the Lord after certain things?

I know that I have done that time and time again. Too often I don’t think of talking to Him at nearly all times, it seems only after I fail do I seek Him in many cases.

It is good to look to Him afterwards but shouldn’t we seek Him always with all our hearts?

After all He has done so much for us and impacted our lives in amazing ways we should have a commune with Him and talk to Him in prayer and listen to what He wants for us by reading His word.

He wants us to draw strength from Him so that He can impact our lives.

He wants us to look to Him so that He is glorified should we need to stand up for Him or share the gospel so that more come to be family in Christ. But we mustn’t forget that to live for Him is no once a week thing, we must be like Christ 24/7, always and in Him at all times. Like I’ve said before that doesn’t mean we should give up every day hobbies like drawing or writing (just examples) but we must be tapped in to His glory to reflect the servant of Jesus.

We must remember what the Lord is for us and also to know who He is.

The LORD is my strength and my shield: my heart trusts in him and he helps me. My heart leaps for joy, and with my song I praise him. Psalm 28:7

What praiseworthy statements! To be defended by Him to trust Him and be helped by Him. May we remember the joy He gives and praise Him.

The Lord Jesus is worthy to be praised always, no matter how the circumstances turn out in life.

I had something disappointing happen in my life recently but I pray that I not walk away from Him concerning it or be tempted to fall back on things.

Sometimes we think we are sure of a “future.” And then those things don’t seem to pan out.

But I trust in Jesus to guide me in the way of everlasting though things seem unsure or like I don’t know what could happen either way.

I remember the things I used to do about this kind of thing. I’d feel lost and then fall into depression.

Yet I don’t see to do that now. I can only pray for the person and not do things that are immature and seek Him more instead. I don’t know what that is right now in a way but I will look to His will.

But I must seek His face, how often?:

Look to the Lord and His strength; seek His face always. 1 Chronicles 16:11

We should seek His face always! “Always?”

You mean we shouldn’t look to Jesus only after we sin?

We must do our most for God with what time we have left because He is worth it.

Not because He gives us strength but because He is Lord of Lords. Ones we should worship and live for because we are meant to do so.

Strength is nothing when it is not dependent on God. Let’s live our lives in the only way God wants so that we can be blessed and see our lives the way He really sees us. Amen.

Note: I re-edited this to keep from being too personal in a certain way to avoid being unfair talking about another person who might not be able to defend themselves. I write this in love and hoping no one could feel hurt by this.

Devotions Trust in God- 7/29/21

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I actually got sleep! Wow, who’d have thought it was possible?

Why is it so hard to fully trust God? Just a few months ago I got to experience a lot of amazing stuff that God had done for my life. And yet during times around then I would be filled with a lot of fear kind of like Peter taking his eyes off of Jesus while crossing the ocean.

We might go through a lot in our lives but one thing we must not forget is that there is no reason to not trust in God. He is good and is not out to harm you (“‘For I know the plans I have for you,’” declares the LORD, “’plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11).

My strength is so weak I need God and to be more like Christ every day. And to also trust Him to guide me and forget what is in my life currently is not what I should only “see” or expect.

Sigh, there seems to be so much chaos in my life. The one things driving me forward is that He knows my heart so I shouldn’t fear often as so much is Satan dividing and turning things (or trying to) his way. But the prince of lies is not the victor here. The one who conquers hearts and lifts ones up in help and saving is Jesus. He will be the victory!

Psalms 118 is such a wonderful chapter. It praises God constantly and speaks of how eternal His love is. It also is kind of what I just spoke about. Read below:

The LORD is on my side; I will not fear. What can man do to me? Psalms 118:6

Man can only take me out. God is there to deliver me. I should only trust in God who will help me through whatever craziness in is my life right now that the evil one is shaking up.

Maybe you are going through a lot right now. Did you know God can help you right where you are and change you? He is the one who guides my life and has saved me through the blood of Jesus Christ.

It might seem hard to but to trust in Christ is like a huge burden is gone from your life. You no longer feel like you have the weight of life on your shoulders, it is like a light burden has taken its place. I will leave you with one more bible verse:

Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths. Proverbs 3:5

To trust in the Lord is not some mere “belief.” It is something that drives the very soul. It starts with a relationship, one where the God of love is waiting for you to accept the gift He has waiting for you.

To get that gift you need to know that we all have sin. You have sin and cannot go to heaven by your own effort.

The bible says the “Wages of sin is death” (from Romans 6:23) that means that one who lives by their own effort cannot enter heaven but to die a second death and go to hell.

But there is hope! That is that Jesus Christ died for all the sin of the world. He also took your sin and died in your place so that you might not go to hell. And He rose again giving us the hope that He is coming again one day.

All God wants is to have a relationship with you because He loves you so much. Will you learn to trust in Him?

Pray something like this:

God, I don’t know what is going on with my life right now. I don’t know what to do. I need you God. I know that I cannot have life one day with you in heaven because of my sin. But I have heard that You sent Your son Jesus to die in my place so that no person who knows You may die without You. I want that gift of eternal life and so I trust You in my life today. Thank You for hearing me. Amen.

I have one tidbit for you friend. Want to know the whole verse? While people use the first part of the verse the rest goes like this. “For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

If you prayed that prayer leave a comment because I want to pray for you in your life with Him. May you experience first hand the “Trust” that is worth it. Amen.

Devotions Joshua- 6/29/21

Have you ever been afraid to say something even though you knew it would be right to say so? That had been most of my life!

I was a thinker but many times I thought my way out of witnessing too.

A person has many reasons to not witness I think that one of them is out of fear.

What will they think of me if I talk about Jesus?

What can we do but try to be a witness?

We should more than try. We need to remember the confidence we have had since our youth (Psalms 71:5).

Joshua had a lot on his plate it seemed in the book of Joshua Chapter 1.

Moses had a helper, a friend named Nun. When Moses passed away, the Lord spoke to Joshua- Nun’s child- to gather the ones of Israel to go over the Jordan River.

He was promised that the Lord would give over the land to the Israelites. This land was from the Euphrates River, the land of the Hittites, and all the land to the coast to the Mediterranean Sea.

He had to meditate on the law (which was important to believers at that time) day and night. (Source: Totally History – Joshua Chapter 1 Summary, Audio & Text (KJV) (totallyhistory.com) -)

Now how could this happen if men (and women) don’t normally hear from the Lord?

Joshua had a lot to accomplish! The hardest part was He had to trust in something that was not only greater than him, but avoid all of his human expectations and leave things in the Lord’s hands!

The verse to focus on will be Joshua a few verses in:

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9 NKJV

Why did he have to mediate on the law? I believe it was for Joshua a way to focus entirely on the Lord.

If we should not keep our focus on our current or dangerous circumstances then what should (or who should) we keep our focus on to be “brave”?

Bravery. Courage.

It’s what every person needs today.

Have you ever been brave? We should stand for what we believe in. There’s a huge chance it will be against what the people within the world claim but it will still be the truth.

Bravery is going against what everything the world is saying. Is that true courage?

It is best to speak up about it.

Hope that has encouraged you to be a kind and gentle one in this chaotic world. Be the light in the darkness. Be “real” brave today.

Be Like an Angel- 6/26/21

Last night could have gone a lot better… but it was humbling after coming in to work today…!

The heart whether it is within the will of God or fully in the world wants what it wants yet is often a form of peril. It is too easy to have the habit of straying away from what God wants and keep going back to what the old ways wanted. Those moments of spiritual weakness just slip back in so easily like an old torn up glove; sure it’s not a good idea to “wear” that old thing again but it doesn’t seem so bad, so hey, might as well do it again!

The sad part is if the person permits it they will have a heart like the world if one isn’t barring it from their daily life. That daily life can be something like a habit that a person is conscious of, a thing that they know is wrong but they just keep giving in to it.

Maybe ones have the heart that Paul once described to the church he was writing to while incarcerated with different churches, a church stuck in very immoral lives. A person who does that thinks, “Hey it’s okay to sin like this. God will keep forgiving me. So He will keep being good in my life!” Right?

Is that a way to live every day? Maybe? Well…

I know it’s the “obvious” answer here but no, it is not good to live like that.

It says in Romans 6 we might think it is a good idea to feel like that but it is not a means to help us out. It is like stoking a fire while trying to put it out. If we let something like that continue it will not be beneficial to our walk. There is no growth. There is especially no chance or the want to have opportunities to guide others in the Lord.

If we are so concerned about our so-called “needs,” will we want to tend to others’ needs? Will we decide to change our concern and look to others’ interests?

In a book of the bible (Second Timothy) Paul was writing to Timothy after he was serving in a church for about four years. Paul himself was alone in a terrible prison (one he would soon leave only not alive, as historians say). Paul and Timothy were like spiritual bondsmen. They shared a kinship that was holy but not physical. And here Paul was telling Timothy that he should continue to impact spiritually just as they had when the holy spirit had done great works in their individual journeys for Jesus.

I was going to focus on verse 7 but let me go one back to context what I was talking about which is actually from verse 6. He is reminding Timothy “to stir up the gift of God” reminding or maybe it’s just reinstating something for encouragement. It then continues to the next verse:

For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. II Timothy 1:7 NKJV

So in Second Timothy in the first chapter, this verse he tells him that they do not have a spirt of “fear” but of good things!

My father said that what it means is we shouldn’t lose hope. Thanks Daddoo, hehe…

It is too easy to take “fear” the wrong way.

But what about the fear that we should take the right way?

I realize I was getting a little out of context with the first verse about what I wanted to get to, haha, sorry. I’m not very great at digging deep into the bible especially when I find a good deal of verses. This time there was some needed context but it will make more sense from here on out, I promise!

If we fear the Lord does that mean we will get struck dead by lightning the moment, say, a guy glances at a woman?

Is fear meaning we won’t get to have moments of weakness? Is being a believer like being a monk?

The world believes that actually. It’s not true. There might even be churches that do that too. If they follow things that are not from the bible, it’s more like man’s rules and it’s not from the Word of God..!

It’s funny how complicated us as people can make things. We think if we do things that are good and avoid all bad we get blessings from God. No. Not true.

You have to have a heart attitude. You go from believing that once you could get nothing but “good” stuff from the world to being fearful of knowing what is right and wrong. We battle sin every day, Christians. To struggle against it is better than claiming “I never do wrong” which is sin itself and a terrible way to be a representative of Christ.

To be one who never does wrong means there is denial to sin. That is like claiming they are God Himself.

Anyway I am tangenting, sorry haha….

We have to change our attitudes. We can think to only dwell in specific things because we “can’t” do wrong, we can live shallow lives because we think that a relationship we have is more important than say seeing how much more we can represent Christ Jesus.

Here’s one that hits close to home for me. We can live almost our entire lives as Christians but realize we haven’t totally given our heart to Christ!

We must question and search our own hearts individually if we want to really live for God. Take time to wonder about your life and then ask God “Am I really living a faithful life for You…?”

That’s where God’s word comes in to play.

I lived almost my entire life conformed to the world. It wasn’t until I was a teenager that I read something that reflected something spiritual that moved my heart (and the Holy Spirit kind of said “Ta Da, I can do this for you too!”). I was floored. I didn’t know that God could change that in my life. He really could??

To serve God means to give everything to Him. Let it be remembered what the cross had done so you don’t feel you have to suffer so much about it or as much as you used to!

Verse below. The main gist of this writing:

For you, brethren, have been called to liberty; only do not use liberty as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another. Galatians 5:13

If we let that be left behind we might not have to struggle like it’s the end of our worlds. Following Jesus again is like turning around and finding out with His mercy He is just one step away, no matter how far we have “wandered” from Him!

If you follow Him and you have struggled with sin be honest and genuine with Him! Say you are sorry (you better be sorry! Oh, I digress again, apologies, haha!) and ask forgiveness. Then say you repent and will follow again. Simple. Simple but powerful in the relationship with God.

Now you must know the wonderful life and love of a church. There is a lifeblood within it. We must be changing every day and live for His glory. We must have our lives more and more glorified so that we are closer to the reflection of Christ.

We might not be “angels” (Oh yeah by the way. I’ve seen an angel four times now! I will share that hopefully soon in a future article or blog note which might be multiple accounts though) but we can live a reflection close “enough” to what we hope Christ is like.

What we all need to get through while happening to walk in this world is a fellowship with other believers. That is by going to a church!

We all must lift each other up and guide each other either in love or in prayer. In prayers we get a special protection while we go about our daily lives.

We must learn to show love to each other within the church. Good, God-honoring love.

We also need to learn to see ourselves the way God does. I feel like if we did, we would have better attitudes about what we should do day to day.

An encouraging verse to end on below:

Let all that you do be done with love. I Corinthians 16:14 NKJV

Let’s be as good as we can be if we have a problem with attitudes or be too much “like” the world. We should be like ones who put on a new clothing, something that is different than what we once were. As ones who believe let’s live for the One who only wants to guide us, give us empathy to show toward others, and be ones who love the Lord with all our hearts! We can be like angels instead of little “devils” hehe.

Devotions 6/21/21

Don’t know if I should go to e. r. right away as it will take forever to get things done with my doctor. I like that office less and less now to be honest. Feels like they care that I make another appointment more than actually wondering what’s going on with me…!

This one will have three seemingly random verses, from three different books of the bible:

They collectively will come from Proverbs, Isaiah, and one verse from Psalms. The latter will be the main verse!

In all things, who should we put our full trust in? Can we stop shouting about nonsense and know there is something beyond all our understanding…?

And who can help us in times of trouble? Real problems. “Good” people? Maybe something like the “Man upstairs?”

It’s easy to think that something like “that” is too far away to help us. We have long ago made ourselves so corrupt with sin since Adam’s fall.

Should we see God as something high in the clouds or accessible to ones here and now? Too often the former is portrayed more often in media like tv shows where God is either inaccessible or even that He is not like the God those Christian people claim and portray a blasphemous version: Did God make a mistake when He did things? Or how about if God is really holy, or is He just some “jerk” like the rest of us…?

We always with harsh statements like that will actually reflect the person’s heart. Can we claim something like that is true….? It isn’t because it is not the God of truth in the bible.

We must let go of our old assumptions about the God who cares and deeply loves us and not only showed that by giving us His Son as a sacrifice for our sin but He will guide us through anything even if it a times “feels” like he isn’t there…!

We must remember that He is God. Feelings come and go but He is still the same!

He is God, of all else we should let go like what we thought God was before we knew Him…. even things from the past we might keep thinking could possibly still be true but goes against the knowledge of God’s Word.

To follow God’s Word is serious stuff, ladies and gents!

For example I once had a belief that went against God’s Word (I will share more on that on a future “testimony” about trusting in something that is not us or other beliefs). Was it an interesting idea? Yes. But was it really “truth“…? Umm….. yeah it wasn’t, haha….

It is hard to trust in something that doesn’t seem to really be there. You have to find it first in your heart by the love of Jesus.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart Proverbs 3:5

We can’t just go halfway with trust. I’ve done that before. I have had personal, let’s say, “comfortabilities” where I thought in a way, But I kinda still like my old self; I don’t want to completely abandon it!

That is an example of the heart not wanting to trust… and that is not good.

We must believe that what he’s got is all we, in a way, will need!

You might stay poor though. There may still be challenges within the church body and with people’s lives. Don’t believe people on the tv that say we will blessed with riches if we follow Christ.

That is a sinful trap by the televangelists. They also avoid talking about sin too (most of them anyway, not all…!)

What Christ died for is not just for he world but for the sin of the people within it. Not just some sins or the only ones we think are accessible… but all sin!

And if we put our full trust in God’s Son He will take care of us. Like a path we have yet to have trodden, it is a new one! but it will be worht it if you follow Him and this new path.

I am he who will sustain you. Isaiah 46:4

If we believe that God not only died for what people claim He died for we also must remember He died for your sin as well.

And yes, all of it. How comforting just is the thought of that!

Your very sin in your heart Jesus loved you so much He died for it too. Because He deeply loves with a love that is more than skin deep.

And don’t listen to the seeming bunch of Christians that will judge and make statements that are rocky. They do bring at least conviction but to shout that people are going to hell before ones get to see what they are like is not right.

I believe that if a person condemns a sinner before they get to know them deserves hell just as much as the person that they are judging!

Ones must first love before they will seek out ones in His love.

But ones who struggle must also know that assumptions they have about the Christian faith must also know they could be assumptions or just how the world sees them.

We must not think we know what the church is actually before we actually get to understand what “houses” it.

Which all in all it houses the holy spirit. It is something so mysterious but given to all people long ago because of what Jesus said would be left to impact not just His people the Jewish but the Gentiles and the non-believers.

It was left firstly for the first ones to want to know Him.

So what does the church have?

Do you want to find out today? It is love. A love beyond all human understanding.

We must be quiet and know that He could one day have us as a part of Him and a part of His Way:

Be still and know that I am God ~Psalm 46:10

Do you want to know that He is God today…?

Let’s pray:

Father God, the way you have been portrayed the past many years I realize was strange. But I think I understand the truth. Can you really show me a way that I can follow now? I want this holy spirit in my life. I realize it was left because after Jesus died on the cross for my sin, it was left for the people after Jesus left the earth bodily. He died on the cross because he not only loved the world but also ME TOO. I want to live for You totally and fully. I want to trust in You with all my heart and accept this gift because I want to live for You and only You and not what I used to think of. And I know now Jesus was here but He is one day coming again. Help me live my life. Thank you Jesus. Amen.

Have you prayed that prayer? May you be proud of what Jesus has done in your life today! Thank you Lord for the privilege of prayer… 🙂 God bless you.

Devotions Psalm 3- 5/29/21

Wow I am humbled by things about David. I never sent a man to war to die but man was I a spiritual struggler in the heart about stuff…

From the bible NKJV:

LORD, how they have increased who trouble me! Many are they who rise up against me. Many are they who say of me, “There is no help for him in God.” (Selah_) But You, O LORD, are a shield for me, My glory and the One who lifts up my head. I cried to the LORD with my voice, and He heard me from His holy hill. (Selah) Psalm 3:1-4

Have you ever struggled and tough stuff just continued? I can give you examples of that but also I can also tell of times I struggled a different battle and I cried out to God so loud and I knew He had heard me.

From a worldly perspective a person who is in peril or problems people think they should just accept their “fate” and be done with life. Or they think “Oh, that person apologized? Off with their head (Well not that dramatically, but you get what I mean)!”

We live in a strange demeaning as well as seek and destroy type of culture here in America. Everything has to be protested. People must be angry about anything they see day to day or else no one will be able to understand why they are so mad.

A woman online wanted a restaurant shut down because Caucasian people were making Korean or Asian types of food. It made her furious (on Twitter, bet you didn’t see that coming…..? sarcasm) and because of cultural appropriation, some “rule” where people who are actually in and a part of the culture have to actually be the ones showing that culture she wanted the place gone since those people were doing something she saw as wrong.

Sometimes if people don’t get what they want they will get more people to fight alone with them. They will “increase” their numbers so more will see their plight and join in.

It is bad to publicly apologize it seems nowadays. Because others think it’s like you exposed a vein in your neck and so ones will say “Welp, they admitted it, let’s ‘bleed them dry’!”

There seems to be no accepting, forgiveness, and love, at least in most of the news.

Is it just the Lord who forgives now…? At least people had some form of values in the past. Forgiving was seen as a nice thing. It may not have been real biblical forgiveness seen in this culture in America but at the very least on shows in television, etc., there was media publicly “practicing” it!

Life, love, freedom from peril (at least for a while), and seeking the Lord for a dwelling place with Him was something David was all about!


Apparently it says in my bible that he wrote Psalm 3 while fleeing from Absalom who was getting ready to usurp the throne from David!

David was a king in Israel but fell after letting himself be tantalized by lusts. He went out of his way (!) to get onto the roof of his house and peered over in hopes of seeing something. He saw Bathsheba, nude.

Then he coveted in his heart, I must take her. I want her! After doing many awful things including sending a man to war to die who was her husband, he then took her for himself.

After God punished David, now he was facing consequences. His family as a result of His punishment was thrown into chaos, violence, and some death! David walked every day knowing this happened because of the awful things he did while reflecting a king (a knower of the Lord) in Israel.

If you are curious about David’s plight, read 1 Samuel and 2 Samuel in the bible: It is both amazing and sad to read the things that happened in his life!



So maybe ones David suggested said “There is no help for him in God.” had a shallow view that a lot of people felt in Israel. But that was something that Israelites did towards people who didn’t deserve any form of punishment. This was David!

King David was facing consequences for his actions. He was still being protected by the Lord (the “shield”) being His glory and being the one who “lifts up” his head when he was feeling overcome and weary by circumstances. He probably felt afraid yet encouraged that the Lord somehow was still with him, terrified at the actions he had were now turned into patterns he was facing because of his sin, and maybe humbled that He cried out to God and was heard from the “holy hill.”

Have you ever cried out to God from your circumstances? I have. I was so deep in sin I wanted some way out. I got so fed up with myself and had no one in my family to turn to so instead I threw myself onto my bed and, not just yelled to God, I cried out so loud!

I am known as a usually “quiet” person but in this case I yelled in desperate prayer so loud in my head I think the heavens heard me!

I realized after that moment I didn’t just pray to God but lamented, poured out my spirit, and I screamed because I found out I was broken and could not live without Christ.

Have you ever heard of Roman culture? The people there had many desires towards others who were winners of battles. Immoral, feelings, lusts towards the ones who won. The human body is an amazing thing but ones should not look intimately or ponder about it for too long…

Well I was like David as I coveted in my heart and had thoughts I knew were not good. I also went “out of my way” to see them, not just imagine them!

Recently a bunch of months back I checked out a “figure” online. That one was just like Bathsheba! I heard that something controversial had happened and a person who was active on social media was actually secretly on the side sharing vids and images to someone they didn’t know. I had heard for a while there was some content that people could possibly find online, so I went and sook that person out. Then I desired. Wanted. Thought I “needed” that person though it was just lustful thoughts.

Man was that wrong! It was disgusting. Messed up. And I realized that all I did was give in to stuff that was seemingly seductive in its so-called “best” places and yet actually demonic in its worst places…!

And then I battled and fought a lot not just against staying away but internally in my heart as well.

Wow this has ended up more humbling than I thought it would be! I started writing this not thinking I would share about the blog note above.

So apply your life to Psalm 3. Think of what you’ve learned. Take time to read the bible for your own spiritual life!

And also know we must live for good not because we seem good but because God makes us better and better through his Son Jesus every time we ask Him to help us! Whether we are asking for forgiveness or guidance, or if we need Him for the first time! Jesus will come and rescue you.

Cry out and He will answer you, if you are truly sorry…