Tag Archives: sad testimony

Who Are We “In Christ?”- 6/17/21

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Gonna put this up, then hopefully will go to bed afterwards!

Do you believe you have an identity? What could that mean…?

I have an identity. It’s called an I. D. Identification. It has everything on it including my name. If I had someone ask who I was and I wasn’t sure, I’d check that and say “This should tell you everything you are concerned about me. All the info on there is enough!”

Is it though? Is it really all there is “about” me? Could I rename myself? Better yet could someone in my life give me a new “identity”…..?

The news is so matter of fact about how people according to their facts “are.” It seems that many may feel that it is impossible to change. Hey whatever experiences people have is what people from there will expect.

I “can’t” change.

Well if one can’t change, I hope they realize the wonderful love of Jesus. If you follow His path and even want to live for Him wholeheartedly it will be amazing what He can do!

Now I have another thing to ponder. If we can, if we might gain a “new” identity… what will be involved with that?

The answer to that is simple. It will be like a beautiful dream only you HAVE woken up.

You realize that with Christ you have a new way of life, a way you didn’t think could matter! You see in yourself a change to the point you feel He has turned you completely around.

How can that happen? By trusting in Jesus in what He did on the cross!

Life without Him is horrid but life in Him is wonderful…

I’ve felt like I was without the Lord. Many times.

If you ever feel tempted, stay away from this stuff. It’s no different than alcohol in my opinion:

One of my biggest regrets was jumping into looking at pornography.

It was sick and I know people that go to my church might be quick to judge me but I knew it was wrong. I knew it and know it now!

I was too dern young. I just went through puberty! I was at a new school that year; I was up on the computer one night, I hesitated and then made that choice…

Now some people might think “porn” is no big deal. It is a big deal. It’s a spiritual warfare deal. Demonic things happen when people look at porn!

I entertained lusts in my heart that I should have talked to people about but instead stayed by myself and yearned endlessly to live to keep that evil flame burning.

I found all kinds of ways to get it again and again. It was not even fun. It sure seemed like I was getting some kind of enjoyment but it was never satisfactory!

I gave in constantly. It became a “drug.” It would have felt good if it didn’t feel like some kind of hell, dragging me around, making me feel like I was nothing after I learned slowly more and more that I was addicted to it.

These “freedom” moments in my life felt more like I was given shackles and then dragged through the mud and rocks while strung from the back of a vehicle. It felt like I was a slave to sin, and seemingly without God, but somehow I wasn’t.

It would drag me through nonstop personal mental “pain” and misery until I died if it was possible.

This was no “burden” to bear alone…

But yet it was a burden I didn’t even have to bear at all. Because of Jesus I was able to give it up (yes I fought with it again and again time and time again, but I still struggled against it versus not caring about doing it!). The feelings of being alone. The toiling and anguish in feeling like I was alone it seemed in my struggle.

Jesus took my burden as well as many things on the cross. He had every sin laid on Him so that He would be like a lamb and be “slaughtered”

How could that be?

They describe Jesus as a lamb. He was like a sacrifice but the ultimate sacrifice. He was the only one that worked!

In the Old Testament so-called “perfect” lambs were slaughtered just as a visual image. It brought people to glorify and worship God.

Because they did great at letting people know that God was good and one to worship but it was not spiritually cleansing.

People needed a real sacrifice. One which took on the sins not just of the world but then also for both you and me!

Without the shedding of blood there was no forgiveness.

He was the Lamb of God. He was the one who paid a debt because He was perfect (the real perfect!).

And so all sins were laid on Him so that He would be broken for the cause of Christ. That ones would come to know Him through His Son so that we were no longer separated if we ever felt lost and without God in our lives.

Now if you follow this way there is also a thing called soul liberty. Once you follow Him you don’t have to keep going this direction. Almost like Adam having a decision you can select whether to follow always or not…

you can choose to follow or not follow Christ. You can choose to stay in His body of believers or not.

But to make the choice to follow Jesus is being Christ bound!

It means you want to be bound to the ways of Christ Jesus. You want to follow all of His ways.

You can now know what it is in store to know Him more. Your master is God your father because now You know that thee is a will. It is like a new you!

Check this out. Some Scripture:

I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. ~John 15:15

And your old self was on the cross where Jesus died. It no longer is a “part” of you but you have been completely turned around if you trust in His ways.

Scripture:

I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” ~Galations 2:20

Isn’t that awesome. How marvelous it is to know this Jesus.

Do you want to pray to follow Him? Let’s see what your identity is in Him today!

Father:

I pray for the people who may be following a certain path. I know all about paths. Mine led to endless destruction. God I don’t want anything like that to happen to whoever might be reading this today (or tonight later) and I pray You reveal Your will for this person after they pray this.

Father God… I realize no matter how hard I try I cannot be good like You. I realize that any and all bad was paid for at the cross. IT was so much stuff and I know now You paid for it by the giving of your Son Jesus Christ. May I follow You with my whole heart and seek a place that speaks the truth that will help guide me Your way. I know that He died for my old self. Let me know more and more my new identity which is in You. I hope that in life I will be able to experience that here. . . Thank you for the wonderful privilege of prayer.

My hope now is that you see every day who you are in Christ. Did you know He sees You as forgiven? He sees one without sin! Wow. Now what a new identity. Praise God if you prayed but be encouraged and know how awesome living for God can really be. That is part of my prayer for you!

Devotion Psalm 139- 6/9/21

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Am going to help out another friend. Hopefully he won’t get kicked out from his place he’s lived so long in, he is such kind and sweet person to everyone. I hope that he will be fine after this!

Here is a number in case you ever feel what I will share about my testimony.

Anti-Suicide Hotline: 800-273-8255

Struggle and the worst days in the midst of hardship. Is it fun? No. Is it worth it? It…. might be? But it’s too easy not to think about it needing to happen because it is too hard to believe it!

Sometimes we struggle. We have worry, pain, sadness, depression, and loneliness. Then there are even “bigger” obstacles. Losing a job, alcoholism, losing loved ones, losing the house that one lived in for so long!

That’s not all the struggles but there are many things that happen every day. If you are rich enough though that is great. I hope you are able to help spread the word and share this free blog to people.

Anyway off of that tangent, I and my family have struggled ourselves with possible homelessness. My dad was working many jobs as we lived in a single house (it was a rental though) and faced some huge problems. An unforeseen problem where a person took advantage on a house he was trying to sell and led that to a lawsuit. My dad lost that case because the judge, allegedly, just wanted to be on the other’s side. To be on “their” side just to look good? That’s discouraging.

My dad lost that then the rent piled up and he could not afford it anymore. He also lost his one of two jobs as one place laid him off.

We had nowhere to “go.” No plan for a vacation house that happened to be somewhere else on coast by the beach. Nothing rich to be able to relax and not be so deep in worry.

Then a sweet “angel” a family member willingly gave up her house so we would live in, just so we wouldn’t become homeless and be out on the streets!

The house that as of now is the shelter, the dwelling… is the house this very day.

I hope one day they will be able to live for just each other one day…. because my parents deserve to have peace and be able to be happy either in retirement or just to be active in some capacity.

But anyway I honestly wasn’t trying to say all that either, haha! I just wanted to say this. Deep in our stresses, our hardships, and even in seeming trials and tribulations, the Lord still loves us! God has love that permeates and penetrates deep. It comes to all who want simply to live for Him, serve Him

…and be led by Him.

Now I will get into personal testimony. For years I “lived” within the walls of church. I was in a church around the time I was born too! But I was torn and struggled with my own life.

Bullying, verbal/some physical abuse from my mom (I forgive you though Mom, and I love you so much!), and other things from elementary school all the way to the beginning of high school came on me making life almost impossible to keep going.

My freshman year was a day in which I contemplated suicide. Yes it was wrong to think that but if you can imagine the daily toil I had of people constantly pummeling me with jokes and tearing apart any happiness and self-worth I could have had, it was a way out. Worst off before that moment came to be I saw people who tore into me show seeing “grace” to others. I was somehow still an exception.

That’s it! Was I guess my heart’s motive. I was going to die a painful, awful self-inflicted death and all I asked was that I would be dead at the end of it.

What God’s grace did for me probably not even halfway through that day was that I forgot about that. All of it. I must have had a great day because I didn’t have that cross my mind again until I took Psychology my senior year where I found out it was a repressed memory.

Speaking of my senior year I somehow saw God’s deep love, how He was against abandonment, and to live for Christ with all my heart.

After my hardship and in effect then becoming “activated” by the Holy Spirit, I wanted to gratefully acknowledge His love to every place I would go!

I say this only because God is good. Christ saved me from so much and it was like I saw a hundred blessings all at once.

I went to school with an oomph to show God’s love and proclaim the gospel! My personality, everything in my life was turned around and like puzzle pieces fit into His glory. As I felt not just the love towards others but such a deep intimate bond with Christ (I do miss that…) there were hurdles too.

Some light hardships came. My school project being redone meant I had to not graduate with my class and repeat my senior year; though my project was just a screenplay I was determined to do a full on movie project and asked our local “News station” to recruit people for the movie and was told not to do that and my suggestion got filed away; I instantly learned in my heart as if in discernment that anything I planned to do for Jesus, Satan seemed to be right behind that action to stop it;

Then those “hardships” became bigger ones! After seeing a ghostly place with a friend sometime later an elaborate thing happened. It was like Satan sent evil and it dropped down right next to me in my bed (a demon). I screamed my head off! But at the same time it seemed like it was in reaction by the Holy Spirit.

Then one night I was lying in bed and was woken up by the Lord. “No. Not yet. Please. Don’t let ‘the end’ happen… not yet!”

What happened was I was shaken back and forth in my bed twice, then it felt almost like two fingers went under my ribcage to lift me up! The fear of the Lord then was definite and a reality!

The Lord was coming. And I had to warn people!

So I continued work on the project.

Then after some more situations other things happened and eventually I ended up hospitalized. I felt like Paul in that situation because here I was feeling scared and seemingly alone and all I wanted was to see my church’s happy faces again.

The place felt like a prison. You couldn’t even open the window to get fresh air because it was locked shut and the handle to open it had been removed!

I felt discouraged. And also (sorry Mom and Dad, forgive me) I became not homesick, but church sick. I asked my dad to get the directory and looked at the pictures.

Then after a while of being in a psychiatric hospital, I began to notice something. People in my group and even some of the staff looked familiar. Were they familiar? Yes, they really were!

God answered my hope to be with church to when I was away from church to bringing an old church to me! The people I was chatting and would fellowship with were from my old church when my dad lost the rental house!

How could this be? Does God really exist now, reader? I believe so and He is there for you whether you will believe it or not!

Part 2 coming