Tag Archives: godly life

Devotions 6/21/21

Posted on by
Reply

Don’t know if I should go to e. r. right away as it will take forever to get things done with my doctor. I like that office less and less now to be honest. Feels like they care that I make another appointment more than actually wondering what’s going on with me…!

This one will have three seemingly random verses, from three different books of the bible:

They collectively will come from Proverbs, Isaiah, and one verse from Psalms. The latter will be the main verse!

In all things, who should we put our full trust in? Can we stop shouting about nonsense and know there is something beyond all our understanding…?

And who can help us in times of trouble? Real problems. “Good” people? Maybe something like the “Man upstairs?”

It’s easy to think that something like “that” is too far away to help us. We have long ago made ourselves so corrupt with sin since Adam’s fall.

Should we see God as something high in the clouds or accessible to ones here and now? Too often the former is portrayed more often in media like tv shows where God is either inaccessible or even that He is not like the God those Christian people claim and portray a blasphemous version: Did God make a mistake when He did things? Or how about if God is really holy, or is He just some “jerk” like the rest of us…?

We always with harsh statements like that will actually reflect the person’s heart. Can we claim something like that is true….? It isn’t because it is not the God of truth in the bible.

We must let go of our old assumptions about the God who cares and deeply loves us and not only showed that by giving us His Son as a sacrifice for our sin but He will guide us through anything even if it a times “feels” like he isn’t there…!

We must remember that He is God. Feelings come and go but He is still the same!

He is God, of all else we should let go like what we thought God was before we knew Him…. even things from the past we might keep thinking could possibly still be true but goes against the knowledge of God’s Word.

To follow God’s Word is serious stuff, ladies and gents!

For example I once had a belief that went against God’s Word (I will share more on that on a future “testimony” about trusting in something that is not us or other beliefs). Was it an interesting idea? Yes. But was it really “truth“…? Umm….. yeah it wasn’t, haha….

It is hard to trust in something that doesn’t seem to really be there. You have to find it first in your heart by the love of Jesus.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart Proverbs 3:5

We can’t just go halfway with trust. I’ve done that before. I have had personal, let’s say, “comfortabilities” where I thought in a way, But I kinda still like my old self; I don’t want to completely abandon it!

That is an example of the heart not wanting to trust… and that is not good.

We must believe that what he’s got is all we, in a way, will need!

You might stay poor though. There may still be challenges within the church body and with people’s lives. Don’t believe people on the tv that say we will blessed with riches if we follow Christ.

That is a sinful trap by the televangelists. They also avoid talking about sin too (most of them anyway, not all…!)

What Christ died for is not just for he world but for the sin of the people within it. Not just some sins or the only ones we think are accessible… but all sin!

And if we put our full trust in God’s Son He will take care of us. Like a path we have yet to have trodden, it is a new one! but it will be worht it if you follow Him and this new path.

I am he who will sustain you. Isaiah 46:4

If we believe that God not only died for what people claim He died for we also must remember He died for your sin as well.

And yes, all of it. How comforting just is the thought of that!

Your very sin in your heart Jesus loved you so much He died for it too. Because He deeply loves with a love that is more than skin deep.

And don’t listen to the seeming bunch of Christians that will judge and make statements that are rocky. They do bring at least conviction but to shout that people are going to hell before ones get to see what they are like is not right.

I believe that if a person condemns a sinner before they get to know them deserves hell just as much as the person that they are judging!

Ones must first love before they will seek out ones in His love.

But ones who struggle must also know that assumptions they have about the Christian faith must also know they could be assumptions or just how the world sees them.

We must not think we know what the church is actually before we actually get to understand what “houses” it.

Which all in all it houses the holy spirit. It is something so mysterious but given to all people long ago because of what Jesus said would be left to impact not just His people the Jewish but the Gentiles and the non-believers.

It was left firstly for the first ones to want to know Him.

So what does the church have?

Do you want to find out today? It is love. A love beyond all human understanding.

We must be quiet and know that He could one day have us as a part of Him and a part of His Way:

Be still and know that I am God ~Psalm 46:10

Do you want to know that He is God today…?

Let’s pray:

Father God, the way you have been portrayed the past many years I realize was strange. But I think I understand the truth. Can you really show me a way that I can follow now? I want this holy spirit in my life. I realize it was left because after Jesus died on the cross for my sin, it was left for the people after Jesus left the earth bodily. He died on the cross because he not only loved the world but also ME TOO. I want to live for You totally and fully. I want to trust in You with all my heart and accept this gift because I want to live for You and only You and not what I used to think of. And I know now Jesus was here but He is one day coming again. Help me live my life. Thank you Jesus. Amen.

Have you prayed that prayer? May you be proud of what Jesus has done in your life today! Thank you Lord for the privilege of prayer… 🙂 God bless you.

Who Are We “In Christ?”- 6/17/21

Posted on by
Reply

Gonna put this up, then hopefully will go to bed afterwards!

Do you believe you have an identity? What could that mean…?

I have an identity. It’s called an I. D. Identification. It has everything on it including my name. If I had someone ask who I was and I wasn’t sure, I’d check that and say “This should tell you everything you are concerned about me. All the info on there is enough!”

Is it though? Is it really all there is “about” me? Could I rename myself? Better yet could someone in my life give me a new “identity”…..?

The news is so matter of fact about how people according to their facts “are.” It seems that many may feel that it is impossible to change. Hey whatever experiences people have is what people from there will expect.

I “can’t” change.

Well if one can’t change, I hope they realize the wonderful love of Jesus. If you follow His path and even want to live for Him wholeheartedly it will be amazing what He can do!

Now I have another thing to ponder. If we can, if we might gain a “new” identity… what will be involved with that?

The answer to that is simple. It will be like a beautiful dream only you HAVE woken up.

You realize that with Christ you have a new way of life, a way you didn’t think could matter! You see in yourself a change to the point you feel He has turned you completely around.

How can that happen? By trusting in Jesus in what He did on the cross!

Life without Him is horrid but life in Him is wonderful…

I’ve felt like I was without the Lord. Many times.

If you ever feel tempted, stay away from this stuff. It’s no different than alcohol in my opinion:

One of my biggest regrets was jumping into looking at pornography.

It was sick and I know people that go to my church might be quick to judge me but I knew it was wrong. I knew it and know it now!

I was too dern young. I just went through puberty! I was at a new school that year; I was up on the computer one night, I hesitated and then made that choice…

Now some people might think “porn” is no big deal. It is a big deal. It’s a spiritual warfare deal. Demonic things happen when people look at porn!

I entertained lusts in my heart that I should have talked to people about but instead stayed by myself and yearned endlessly to live to keep that evil flame burning.

I found all kinds of ways to get it again and again. It was not even fun. It sure seemed like I was getting some kind of enjoyment but it was never satisfactory!

I gave in constantly. It became a “drug.” It would have felt good if it didn’t feel like some kind of hell, dragging me around, making me feel like I was nothing after I learned slowly more and more that I was addicted to it.

These “freedom” moments in my life felt more like I was given shackles and then dragged through the mud and rocks while strung from the back of a vehicle. It felt like I was a slave to sin, and seemingly without God, but somehow I wasn’t.

It would drag me through nonstop personal mental “pain” and misery until I died if it was possible.

This was no “burden” to bear alone…

But yet it was a burden I didn’t even have to bear at all. Because of Jesus I was able to give it up (yes I fought with it again and again time and time again, but I still struggled against it versus not caring about doing it!). The feelings of being alone. The toiling and anguish in feeling like I was alone it seemed in my struggle.

Jesus took my burden as well as many things on the cross. He had every sin laid on Him so that He would be like a lamb and be “slaughtered”

How could that be?

They describe Jesus as a lamb. He was like a sacrifice but the ultimate sacrifice. He was the only one that worked!

In the Old Testament so-called “perfect” lambs were slaughtered just as a visual image. It brought people to glorify and worship God.

Because they did great at letting people know that God was good and one to worship but it was not spiritually cleansing.

People needed a real sacrifice. One which took on the sins not just of the world but then also for both you and me!

Without the shedding of blood there was no forgiveness.

He was the Lamb of God. He was the one who paid a debt because He was perfect (the real perfect!).

And so all sins were laid on Him so that He would be broken for the cause of Christ. That ones would come to know Him through His Son so that we were no longer separated if we ever felt lost and without God in our lives.

Now if you follow this way there is also a thing called soul liberty. Once you follow Him you don’t have to keep going this direction. Almost like Adam having a decision you can select whether to follow always or not…

you can choose to follow or not follow Christ. You can choose to stay in His body of believers or not.

But to make the choice to follow Jesus is being Christ bound!

It means you want to be bound to the ways of Christ Jesus. You want to follow all of His ways.

You can now know what it is in store to know Him more. Your master is God your father because now You know that thee is a will. It is like a new you!

Check this out. Some Scripture:

I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. ~John 15:15

And your old self was on the cross where Jesus died. It no longer is a “part” of you but you have been completely turned around if you trust in His ways.

Scripture:

I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” ~Galations 2:20

Isn’t that awesome. How marvelous it is to know this Jesus.

Do you want to pray to follow Him? Let’s see what your identity is in Him today!

Father:

I pray for the people who may be following a certain path. I know all about paths. Mine led to endless destruction. God I don’t want anything like that to happen to whoever might be reading this today (or tonight later) and I pray You reveal Your will for this person after they pray this.

Father God… I realize no matter how hard I try I cannot be good like You. I realize that any and all bad was paid for at the cross. IT was so much stuff and I know now You paid for it by the giving of your Son Jesus Christ. May I follow You with my whole heart and seek a place that speaks the truth that will help guide me Your way. I know that He died for my old self. Let me know more and more my new identity which is in You. I hope that in life I will be able to experience that here. . . Thank you for the wonderful privilege of prayer.

My hope now is that you see every day who you are in Christ. Did you know He sees You as forgiven? He sees one without sin! Wow. Now what a new identity. Praise God if you prayed but be encouraged and know how awesome living for God can really be. That is part of my prayer for you!

Devotions Isaiah Verse- 6/16/21

Posted on by
Reply

Getting a doc appmt is kind of stressful! I just want to make one but keep finding out I’m still a step or two behind so have to backtrack, haha…..

Bible verse from New King James Version:

Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness. Isaiah 41:10

—–

What is fear in relation to God and what it says in the bible? Is this fear a “good” thing? Is God always going to “strike us down” like lightning if we don’t follow his ways?

Fear is merely being afraid or scared of something, right?

That’s my own definition anyway. But the bible is clear that being “afraid of God” means something we might not expect.

(Sorry people for being up a little later than usual. Apparently this site gets views mostly by 11. It’s 12 now and going past at this typing but I hope that people will check it out a little later this time, hahaha…)

To be fearful of God means to be in mind of His commandments. I don’t mean people who know they have to love their already loving friends that if they get upset at them one day they should now fear God.

I mean taking His commandments seriously.

A person who fears God shouldn’t be looking online for images and videos that don’t honor God and then say to a friend “God will forgive me. I did feel bad about it afterwards. But it was ‘okay’ though…”

A person who fears God shouldn’t be checking out gossip mag after gossip mag and then say “Well I can say this about Joan, she’s just like that ‘slutty chick’ in this magazine!” But knows that gossip is wrong!

A person who fears God shouldn’t have hate or some kind of awfully strong feeling towards others they know they love. Why hate when the body was made for a better purpose…?

Years ago I had a few emotions I didn’t know what to do about. I was jealous about other people’s lives. They had family who were in the church, many who they were sure knew the Lord and served Him… and yet people in my immediate family didn’t show any form of growth. My mother, I was afraid, may have been headed towards hell.

I saw so many at church who were great examples of both a woman and mother in Christ. They celebrated others’ lives, people who might start off in new futures, something that was great and they showed joy and happiness!

I grew up avoiding telling my mother if there was a “new baby” coming for not just with church family, but with literally any family, because like clockwork my mom would (and still does get at times) jealous about others’ new beginnings.

My mom had a number of very fine boys (okay, maybe a few good ones and one “Stooge.” Me as Curley: I’m “defended.” How dare me….?!)

Yet to this day wished she had a daughter…

Boys who are healthy, who are well, that doesn’t matter at all to her. She still wished she had a daughter.

My mom thinks if things don’t turn out in ways exactly like “everyone” else then God might not be real.

Well she never denied God but in my heart I felt she was so awful about things, it was like she had the heart of someone who didn’t believe that God was real!

There’s a seeming protection to her expectations. Her probably personal rule: If things don’t go ‘her way,’ then life is completely awful.

She’s sick of being like “Job.” But she first has to realize there are many blessings that she needs to see that are here and now!

I’ve said again and again count your blessings.

Her reaction every time: “WHAT BLESSINGS…??”

She might be changing now but … my mom changes silently so I can never know how she is growing or if she is about thinking of what God has given us versus what He in a sinner’s toil, “refuses” us to have in physical riches.

We must think of many things we learned or have learned in life if we know certain bible verses. To love others, to love the Lord our God with all our heart.

We must do His commandments and follow Him.

Mine is to honor God. There were times I was tempted to give in to being with a man but I thought “No. That is wrong…!”

Not just because it is sin, not just because it would not be right…

but because it does not prove that God is in my life. Also I have had amazing, “impossible” things happen in my life that I am humbled by.

Lord, You changed me in a way I thought I could do myself (nope) but instead you turned me around long ago in a way I didn’t expect!

You made the impossible possible!

And that was because of Christ and I am in effect a NEW creation… something that was not before!

What a testimony but you can have it too if you strive on and live for Him. Don’t “fear” Him in the worldly way, just keep in mind His commandments.

If you fail ask for forgiveness. He’ll be in front of you to guide you forward every step of the way. Let Him take you by His right hand, and lead You day to day towards righteousness!

Amen.

Devotions Growth 6/15/21

Posted on by
Reply

I am very mature yet I still have a lot of “growing” to do. Thank You, Lord, for Your patience with me…!

Ever tried to grow something but it took forever?

I don’t think I would do that. I just don’t have the patience. I love that there are many people with “green thumbs,” but to do that would require way too much from me!

People who garden are wonderful. I am amazed when I found out more and more that there are others who do that. Some people will grow tomatoes right outside their windows, or found ways to “scrap” food pieces where they place them into the earth and a new sprout comes forth.

As long as they have the tools and the ability to do so, something will grow…!

But just how can we grow in life…? Is there a way we might not be used to doing?

The bible has two verses that I feel have been laid on my heart today.

The first is from the Old Testament! It is from the prophet Isaiah.

Just what does it take to grow? I know it simple but yet sometimes simple images make a huge impact to the life wanting to follow Him.

Water. Water is a giver of life. Here imagine life where water flows freely like a spring.

Behold, I will do a new thing, Now it shall spring forth; Shall you not know it? I will even make a road in the wilderness. And rivers in the desert. Isaiah 43:19

Water brings life. Did you know water also exists in the desert?

Cacti or “cactuses” that exist in the desert do hold water.

There is another thing about deserts you probably don’t know. Did you know in many arid lands of desert that it can go from extremely hot in the scorching day to very cold at night?

How can that happen? I just wanted to mention that. There are so many things in life to find interesting.

Ooh I just found something:

The temperature in the desert can change drastically from day to night because the air is so dry that heat escapes rapidly at night. Source: earthobservatory.nasa.gov

Even if you feel that God is not doing stuff in your life doesn’t mean He isn’t? Have you responded to the call to know Jesus? We are very impatient creatures but we are important to the call to Christ and we must know what we were made (or “recreated” by the Holy Spirit) to be!

Another verse that is more clear to anyone that wants to simply read His word and also live for God.

This verse is about the knowledge from His Word and growing through His Son.

Here is the verse from the New Testament below:

..but grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. 2 Peter 3: 18

Hmm, so in order to live for Christ, we must also have a personal growth in Him?

How can we all do that? Is there a special way to grow in a way we might not know about?

That was first by the blood of Jesus! He paid the way. It is through the love of the father that it happened. He willed it, we must accept it! Like a gift from a loving friend we must accept the gift of eternal life.

Maybe that is too late for you? Maybe you feel that spiritually you can’t even cry out fo the one who loves You so much…?

I know of spiritual warfare. It is awful and sometimes deadly stuff!

Know that I know Him and I love YOU. I might not know you but I hope I do.

I also know some things that happen if I surrender to the Will of God because it is He that does the changing, not I!

I am like a farmer who spreads the seeds in hopes of one day a spiritual harvest.

Will You follow the ones who know Jesus? I hope so. May God protect you if you so do!

Just follow and you will see amazing changes in your life you did not know could be possible!

Because Christ can make the impossible possible. He makes things that seem impossible happen only if one gives in to His will, and He glorifies Himself so that it is possible! And it is fun to live in Him. Believe me.

Devotions Matthew 5:44- 6/14/21

Posted on by
Reply

I’m rushing to cook for about two people. For fun and for a person from my church who is not well physically. And he’ll never be well again sadly…

Isn’t it tough to love people who are against you? How about people who flat out say they hate you? Or one person, in an example, who wanted to curse me (she did it secretly though. It was my neighbor who lived with her family right next door to where my family lived)?

So even if it might be just in our hearts or even briefly if we want to get revenge, we do that, right? WRONG.

Being a true Christian means living truly uncomfortable, and that means we should follow commands we wouldn’t in our sinful heart normally do. We must not do things our old self has done either (if you still are, you need to get right with God now or adjust your attitude and then ask Him for forgiveness). If you are actively pursuing things that are not good or are wrong and you know it…. that is scary. I don’t know what to say about that besides: Do you truly know the Lord?

You probably don’t. And that is scary!

Anyway before I digress, we must love the people actively out to “get” us. I know that sounds paranoid, hahaha….

Believe me, it is true.

The bible in Matthew 5:44 says we must bless those who “curse” us. We must do good to those who hate us. And pray for those who persecute or, more lightly, use us spitefully.

But aren’t we supposed to care about our own needs and live for our lonely growth?

Why do we do this? Isn’t that saying true that “God only helps those who help themselves?”

That’s such an untrue saying. it’s like a nice sounding “Christian” so-called line straight from the devil’s lips himself!

That is a saying from the prince of lies, THE enemy, would you listen to that statement…?

We must live for own personal growth yes (devoting time with God’s word every day or any moment we spend time with Him) and also learn every day to love and see our knowledge and how we can apply it (wisdom)!

In a world of “hate” we must love. In a place where people protest or are secretly against what we believe but won’t say so in public we must be kind back. In a world where thieves can get away with things but consider themselves “right” or “honoring,” we must show them the limits of the law yet be patient.

Being a real Christian means fighting our “old selves” whether one who was rage-filled or even vengeful and be counter that, not in just fleeting word but in genuine heart.

Being a true follower of the Lord means even praying for people who were once mockers of you, who slander-ised you (yet you know the truth) or hopes you fail in life.

If you are going out of your way to do that to wreck other people’s lives, what does that say about you?

Stop and be love. If you can’t then learn to love dammit because we don’t know if we have tomorrow! Do you know we’re not even guaranteed anything on this earth?

We must not just plan to love tomorrow but at least try to love today. Christians, be love because as one guy I know said “You’re the only ‘book’ they’ll ever ‘read.'”

They see YOU as an example of a follower of Christ. They see YOU as the one who though they don’t understand your view or even say that it is “stupid” in their eyes, they might show you respect at the very least if you follow through and not just “talk the talk.”

Let’s be love to our so-called enemies today. Love as Jesus loves. That is all.

Psalm 139- 6/9/21 Part 2

Posted on by
Reply

Continuing on, I hope you checked out Part 1, dear reader. Otherwise this post will make little sense…

After being moved by God’s definite love for me and for the people who He dearly loved, I was eventually sent home. I had an after-care program and went back home and went to church again.

I wish I could say I was quick to proclaim the amazing things that just happened! Sadly I was very emotion-based and didn’t want to say much of anything because I was depending on feelings after I got home and it “felt” like the Lord had left me entirely.

I was however not forgetting what He did for me though. I was baptized the month I got back!

So what did this all mean? Was that just a happy ending and I should just dust myself off and be done with living my life? One might see that as just an experience and look back on it like a pleasant memory but not move on or have new ones.

Is that all to my story? That would have been nice but God does things through all good and bad. He is there for us, He makes ways for us, and we might not see those blessings or the pure endless love of Him but it is there whether we might want to believe it or not!

We could dive high into the clouds and He is there. But what about if we went say… “underground?”

As long as we walk this earth could be be with us even if we think we were in “hell?”

The year after experiencing a happy joyous time, as if in time, there was the opposite. I was really feeling excited about living for the Lord.

But the prince of lies (a.k.a. satan) loves to deceive, bring painful memories from far back into fruition, and keep us feeling that we can’t and shouldn’t do what God wants us to do.

He loves telling partial truths but will have His servants on their knees feeling they should give up feeling deep guilt which leads to depression.

He also uses your experience for “his” gain! Now you can’t be at church. Now you can’t be this so-called “blessing.” He will remind you of so much from before you will wonder if this god is true in your life at all.

“It’s true you’re a so-called “believer” right? Or were you just deceiving people….?”

I was uncomfortable not understanding what the people were talking about as I was learning about how to serve in ministry in the summer that year. I pondered about things deep in my past because there was an awful situation, I didn’t know the details then as people were going over that which made me end up feeling discouraged.

I lost sleep it bothered me so much. Then I was daily burdened by it so much when I was driven to church, I was like a stick in mud as people drove me there. I just could not move!

As if my fellow brethren were trying to remind me of His love or at least the beauty of His creation they told me with tears in their eyes how the flowers that sprung up looked. There was new flora and it seemed as if God had been showing me His love yet… I still felt paralyzed. What in the world was this???

My personal demons continued on with their game and after a while I didn’t know how to feel. I thought maybe I just didn’t deserve God’s love. Maybe I should “go to hell” instead.

Hell is not a good place by the way, just sayin’! I felt like in the event I will share that it seemed to happen to me, just know you should never feel you should be there. That there is no path but that place. It’s endless and it will be your only place after the first death if you choose to live without God!

I didn’t like that ultimately in sin I was the way I mentioned earlier. I thought I deserved to “burn” because I couldn’t do things that apparently, I found out later could only be done through Christ.

Then I stopped eating. When my mom gave me a tv dinner she heated up in the oven it somehow tasted like ashes (I swear at least a little bit like my taste buds were shot). Then after more days and awful situations (I was going to lose my insurance soon and there was no way to stop it, it seemed) I lost grip on reality.

I thought I was still doing my movie project (but somehow only while I was sleeping) since I tried to get back to it before all of this happened. I was over a friend’s house and after hoping the worst on myself I felt like I was attacked and “sent” to hell.

Screams and fire and brimstone I heard all around me. It smelled like sulfur was kept just below my nostrils every time I took a breath!

My friend’s mother (who was alive at the time) grabbed me and tried to bring me upstairs.

I heard a strange voice then I thought I “heard” her tell the voice to “shut up” and I also realized I couldn’t move well at all.

My legs felt like they were stripped of their skin and every step I took in the midst of the burning sounds and scream noises felt like the stairs I was moving up I was sinking into lava.

By the time I finally opened my eyes I was staring into hers and the screams the sounds of flames, everything then dissipated. She kept me in a quiet dark room and held me to herself.

As if it was a huge trauma I woke up the next day with some kind of mental “reset.” If I remember right the mom and dad were looking at me like I was their “baby” and showing love that I didn’t deserve. I responded back like a child.

(Sorry I had to take a moment to cry; the father also recently passed.)

So to keep this somewhat shorter, I probably didn’t see myself still as “redeemed.” I went my own way like a possessed person who believed now he was possibly the only person on earth to ever lose their salvation.

I was now dead on earth. I was gone. All because of self-judgement.

More hallucinations, more smelling of sulfur and this time I ended up at a few hospitals, not just at two (including the psyche building) like the year prior.

Eventually I ended up at the hospital. I probably would have perished if not for this special “dwelling.” But you know what was neat? It was the same hospital as last time. I was in the adult ward this time!

Then of course Satan did his things. More challenges and scary stuff. One night I saw two people outside my window by I’d say twenty feet away or so…? I knocked and they turned around. Two demonic looking men looked me in the eyes.

They had strange smiles as they immediately sprinted towards the hospital and headed straight for me. I was not hallucinating this time: This was now real!

Somehow they got into the hospital and went towards my location.

I stood turned away from them as they headed for me. There were some firm but gentle shouts as the staff immediately kicked them out.

And like that they were gone…!

But as I speak of hell, remember when I said that Jesus is like a “firefighter…?” Well that’s coming up.

On Sunday I was so blessed to find out that in a smallish room a bunch of people were waiting as one man was not just a staff member on the medical team but also a pastor.

He shared about the bible. And He told of God’s love.

Here I was on the pit of seeming hell and then I heard a bunch of words that changed me after that moment. A spiritual refresher that could only come from a reverend filled by the Holy Spirit. A chance to know that there was renewal in the midst of hardship. Life in the midst of personal sadness and regret.

Out of all the terrible stuff I had done God’s love was there. He was there no matter what I thought I deserved genuinely.

God still loved me.

My eyes overflowed with tears.

I had no idea. I did not know that it was possible.

So much of this touches on Psalm 139. Where can we go from Him? Is it possible while in this life to “get away” entirely from Him?

How great does He think of us too. It says in a following verse that if we were to count of His thoughts for us they would be greater than the grains that exist of sand!

What love. What compassion that He loved us so much that He also sent His son Jesus to die for us!

We should not take that punishment if there is a way out! In God there is a way and that is in Christ Jesus.

Grace is like being given a gift we did not deserve. It was given selflessly with love for men and women, that we should not die before we find that answer.

You have just been given a gift. It was paid for by Christ Jesus who died for your, mine, our sin.

Do you know how much God loves you?

Anti-Suicide Hotline: 800-273-8255

Father, I thank you for the gift of the Holy Spirit. Without being given that we would have no hope that we might see within us someday. May the reader understand that to live on their own leads to endless hardship but the way to live with joy and feel a great reason is in Christ. Father God I pray that this reader comes to the knowledge and faith that is in and through your Son. No matter what we go through You are there. Let that not be too late for this reader. May they understand that there is no religion but love from God but by the way that You made happen. Thank you for the privilege of prayer.

Note: Hope you enjoyed the debut of the new category Testimony. God bless you today!

Devotion Psalm 139- 6/9/21

Posted on by
Reply

Am going to help out another friend. Hopefully he won’t get kicked out from his place he’s lived so long in, he is such kind and sweet person to everyone. I hope that he will be fine after this!

Here is a number in case you ever feel what I will share about my testimony.

Anti-Suicide Hotline: 800-273-8255

Struggle and the worst days in the midst of hardship. Is it fun? No. Is it worth it? It…. might be? But it’s too easy not to think about it needing to happen because it is too hard to believe it!

Sometimes we struggle. We have worry, pain, sadness, depression, and loneliness. Then there are even “bigger” obstacles. Losing a job, alcoholism, losing loved ones, losing the house that one lived in for so long!

That’s not all the struggles but there are many things that happen every day. If you are rich enough though that is great. I hope you are able to help spread the word and share this free blog to people.

Anyway off of that tangent, I and my family have struggled ourselves with possible homelessness. My dad was working many jobs as we lived in a single house (it was a rental though) and faced some huge problems. An unforeseen problem where a person took advantage on a house he was trying to sell and led that to a lawsuit. My dad lost that case because the judge, allegedly, just wanted to be on the other’s side. To be on “their” side just to look good? That’s discouraging.

My dad lost that then the rent piled up and he could not afford it anymore. He also lost his one of two jobs as one place laid him off.

We had nowhere to “go.” No plan for a vacation house that happened to be somewhere else on coast by the beach. Nothing rich to be able to relax and not be so deep in worry.

Then a sweet “angel” a family member willingly gave up her house so we would live in, just so we wouldn’t become homeless and be out on the streets!

The house that as of now is the shelter, the dwelling… is the house this very day.

I hope one day they will be able to live for just each other one day…. because my parents deserve to have peace and be able to be happy either in retirement or just to be active in some capacity.

But anyway I honestly wasn’t trying to say all that either, haha! I just wanted to say this. Deep in our stresses, our hardships, and even in seeming trials and tribulations, the Lord still loves us! God has love that permeates and penetrates deep. It comes to all who want simply to live for Him, serve Him

…and be led by Him.

Now I will get into personal testimony. For years I “lived” within the walls of church. I was in a church around the time I was born too! But I was torn and struggled with my own life.

Bullying, verbal/some physical abuse from my mom (I forgive you though Mom, and I love you so much!), and other things from elementary school all the way to the beginning of high school came on me making life almost impossible to keep going.

My freshman year was a day in which I contemplated suicide. Yes it was wrong to think that but if you can imagine the daily toil I had of people constantly pummeling me with jokes and tearing apart any happiness and self-worth I could have had, it was a way out. Worst off before that moment came to be I saw people who tore into me show seeing “grace” to others. I was somehow still an exception.

That’s it! Was I guess my heart’s motive. I was going to die a painful, awful self-inflicted death and all I asked was that I would be dead at the end of it.

What God’s grace did for me probably not even halfway through that day was that I forgot about that. All of it. I must have had a great day because I didn’t have that cross my mind again until I took Psychology my senior year where I found out it was a repressed memory.

Speaking of my senior year I somehow saw God’s deep love, how He was against abandonment, and to live for Christ with all my heart.

After my hardship and in effect then becoming “activated” by the Holy Spirit, I wanted to gratefully acknowledge His love to every place I would go!

I say this only because God is good. Christ saved me from so much and it was like I saw a hundred blessings all at once.

I went to school with an oomph to show God’s love and proclaim the gospel! My personality, everything in my life was turned around and like puzzle pieces fit into His glory. As I felt not just the love towards others but such a deep intimate bond with Christ (I do miss that…) there were hurdles too.

Some light hardships came. My school project being redone meant I had to not graduate with my class and repeat my senior year; though my project was just a screenplay I was determined to do a full on movie project and asked our local “News station” to recruit people for the movie and was told not to do that and my suggestion got filed away; I instantly learned in my heart as if in discernment that anything I planned to do for Jesus, Satan seemed to be right behind that action to stop it;

Then those “hardships” became bigger ones! After seeing a ghostly place with a friend sometime later an elaborate thing happened. It was like Satan sent evil and it dropped down right next to me in my bed (a demon). I screamed my head off! But at the same time it seemed like it was in reaction by the Holy Spirit.

Then one night I was lying in bed and was woken up by the Lord. “No. Not yet. Please. Don’t let ‘the end’ happen… not yet!”

What happened was I was shaken back and forth in my bed twice, then it felt almost like two fingers went under my ribcage to lift me up! The fear of the Lord then was definite and a reality!

The Lord was coming. And I had to warn people!

So I continued work on the project.

Then after some more situations other things happened and eventually I ended up hospitalized. I felt like Paul in that situation because here I was feeling scared and seemingly alone and all I wanted was to see my church’s happy faces again.

The place felt like a prison. You couldn’t even open the window to get fresh air because it was locked shut and the handle to open it had been removed!

I felt discouraged. And also (sorry Mom and Dad, forgive me) I became not homesick, but church sick. I asked my dad to get the directory and looked at the pictures.

Then after a while of being in a psychiatric hospital, I began to notice something. People in my group and even some of the staff looked familiar. Were they familiar? Yes, they really were!

God answered my hope to be with church to when I was away from church to bringing an old church to me! The people I was chatting and would fellowship with were from my old church when my dad lost the rental house!

How could this be? Does God really exist now, reader? I believe so and He is there for you whether you will believe it or not!

Part 2 coming

Devotions Hebrews- 6/8/21

Posted on by
Reply

It sucks I can’t drink coffee right now, haha! But it’s a “sacrifice” I am entirely willing (and happy) to make if it is, in this condition, bad for me. (It will exacerbate my physical problem).

And let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works, not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as is the manner of some, but exhorting one another, and so much the more as you see the Day approaching. Hebrews 10:24-25

There are a lot of churches out there: There’s what one might say good ones, the other ones but generally, if they teach the bible they are good churches. Some churches want to save the “lost” that come in, some want to hold onto the members they have for comfortability’s sake, some want to preach and rejoice and shout the word of God! Others would rather talk about Jesus in a seemingly “quieter” manner.

I say if it’s a “full Bible” institution for everything to try to be a good faithful servant, I am all for it! What do I mean by saying “Full Bible” for a church and its believers…?

I mean as in everything it says is the word and if you leave stuff out… there will be problems with spiritual life. People will toil on and on in their old lives and there will be little or no growth within the church body.

Because like a dose of medicine for the body, the Bible is vitalizing to the soul. Growth for an individual needs to happen not just depending on other people within the body. The bible needs to be the foundation of a good church. Otherwise, there is a possibility no “good” will come from that so-called Bible church.

There is a book that I am hoping to one day read that talks about churches having the conformity of the world in them. That looks like a great one. But I was kind of surprised never thinking someone would call it one for “apologetics.”

I never thought a church like “that” would need apologetics (which explains the context of the scripture from the bible) but it clicked and totally made sense!

I feel like doing that in a supposed church is not like other religions. Those religions actually teach stuff from the bible and in loving and caring for others. They also have reasons to speak badly of the bad stuff. They teach patience, “bettering” yourself.

Yet “this” kind of place of same-minded “believers”, one that is of the world before it speaks of standing out from the world, is no different than some of the worst cults out there!

I still stand by the quick quip about fan-clubs. I’d rather risk scrutiny from the world than not give the gospel. I’d rather people spit in my face because I’m speaking against “their” truth than give my own truth and claim it’s what Jesus “wanted.”

Time is ticking churches: Do you know when Jesus will come? Will you be speaking the “truth?” Is the gospel the truth in your own heart…?

Or do you believe that the rapture is something “evil” and will claim against it meanwhile all the people in your body group might still be there when the end of ends come.

Thunder rattles sometimes as if to give us fear about what might come above. What would come “from above?”

Do not be afraid of evil or Satan, churches, but be afraid of the one who might choose to “send” you to heaven or hell.

Yes I say, fear Him!

I believe I have met Michael the archangel. Is he here to stay?

I have met a different angel as well. One who has sent such spiritual encouragement.

Thank You Lord for these tough things that help me think about what I’m doing with my own life. I can’t do anything without Your amazing love, interference, and mercy and joy!

In You I can depend on life not by my own hand or strength but because of the amazing power of when You gave us Your Son to die and rise to live again and in effect, also live in our hearts. Amen!

Devotions Psalms 23

Posted on by
Reply

The famous Shepherd Psalm. What is so beautiful about this passage, the entirety of the chapter is it not only paints a beautiful picture of calmness and serenity in the peace of God but that it is written during times of trouble.

The writer David was being pursued to being murdered by King Saul. But in all of this he was at peace in knowing that his heart was with the Lord no matter what.

To live wholeheartedly for Christ isn’t just practice per se it’s actually not even “practice” in a way at all. It’s giving up on what we expect and putting complete and total faith in Jesus Christ. Trust and to remember He is good no matter what should happen even if it might end up tragic.

Let’s break it down verse by verse!

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. What could this mean??

It means to desire the world or at least desire things in the world at all times. We should even if we may or may not be believers not be enslaved to either our old selves and only want old sins or to live not in Christ but have a heart that reflects a person that is in the world.

We shall not want. We should desire at least wanting to live for the Lord.

He (has) me lie down in green pastures. Doesn’t that sound peaceful? It sounds like the pastures are almost like a calm bed to lie in after a day’s work and the lying down makes one feel so good. Like a bed of relief! Or a place of peace.

…”Leads me beside still waters.” In the original version of my text it says “the” still waters.

In case all of this imagery is making one wonder David was a shepherd. He here is talking about being like a sheep and all of these things being as if he is being guided by a “Shepherd’ only this Shepherd being described is God.

So much being described is what a shepherd does for not only the flock but the care towards each individual sheep of that flock.

Could these still waters mean that the great Shepherd is guiding people towards a peaceful place. A place to be restored by the water. The water that is needed for living life? Here it could be that not only is it good for physical restoration but spiritual.

“…restores my soul; (and) leads me in the paths of righteousness“

What is your belief in that? Can God actually take a person who merely believes with all their heart and lead them in righteousness. It can only be by one way!

“…for His name’s sake.“ Wow this feel’s prophetic in a way! I don’t think I rarely ever hear a book of the Old Testament say that God has a name. That is astounding! But David probably didn’t know that that name was (Jesus. The good shepherd).

David was talking also about how He is restored in Him. But we could say we can apply this to now. Living for goodness that is God through the Lord.

“Truly, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death” Whoa, is this about hardships or is this just some imagery? “I won’t fear evil for You’re with me.”

Was David facing possible death from King Saul’s hands? Then why was he at such peace in the midst of all those circumstances?

I used to be afraid of many things. I didn’t know how to deal with them until I started to be a stronger person in faith. This was not really because of any specific ritual or thinking patterns… I started to pray to the Lord and then scares about things as seemingly little as very stormy weather had me over time experience the peace and living while keeping my soul focus off those storms and praying that He would keep me safe. That is kind of like Peter from the bible only he took his eyes off of someone to trust and then sunk like a stone in the water because of the stormy terrors around him.

Are you afraid of the circumstances going on around in this world? Pray. Maybe God will open something for you in your life.

Devotions- Psalm 91 *Part 2 5/25/21*

Posted on by
Reply

Wow this entire chapter covers a lot! It goes from wanting to be sheltered and be under the shadow of holiness and to depend on Him and praise the Lord.

The writer says as we depend on the shadow of the Almighty, he says that God is his refuge and strength. And puts his full trust in Him.

The next section is interesting I had to explore a couple of words (and one definition out of curiosity: Ever assume you know the definition and then you look it up? I’m not always right in that, haha!).

The first word I looked up was “fowler.” It said basically the word meant a hunter of birds.

Why is that significant…? Hmm. Well later in the chapter not much into the passage it describes the Lord as one who takes us under His wings. That is sweet … but what does that mean?

It means that He will be like a wildfowl or bird that treats us like one of its own, gathering us under its wing. Like a mother bird or something like that being protective.

We should also be guarded and protected ourselves! We must have something to protect us out in this world (the Word of God). It could mean we should have a way to share but to stay guarded in case people “fire” back at us with questions. “Are you really a Christian? What is it that you people are crazy about? Huh, you love me? You don’t even know me!”

Some might be so harsh they are deeply discouraging. Some may be strong in delivering the enemy’s attack, by that I mean Satan.

We must hold fast and share and love and show others the way no matter what harsh or teasing things may happen in this world today. It is kind of a battleground nowadays but this is also all just the Lord’s battle. We must not be harsh but loving, we must not throw terrible words at others just to “stir the pot” and show real godliness, we must keep our hearts away from what we used to do and live in Him so that they know who Christ is and see by your example!

We must deeply search our hearts plucking out anything that either goes against HIs truth or His way.

We must be clean like Christ and live in the Holy Spirit day to day and see ourselves the way God sees us… so that we can deliver others while showing His salvation. Let’s be doers not just speakers of the Word today!