Was listening to a song and thought it would be perfect to direct a music video for and perform it. Didn’t realize until a moment later it would be perfect for a “future” movie project, which will surprise some of you…. 🙂

Sometimes we “grieve” over what we went thought. Sometimes we grieve over the past or things that were definite hurdles. I believe with all my heart we have limits to our bodies because we are strong and able bodied but after the fall we must know that there needs to be a glory or worship that is not in us.

We were made for something great and that first thing was to worship or give glory to God.

I think we were made for a great purpose! We all need to know that.

Mine had happened quite some time ago. But I had learned then and now just how powerful music is as well.

When I was struggling mentally I was still looking to the Lord. I was having seemingly impossible things happen in my life and yet I kept pushing on.

It was only by the strength of the Lord and nothing of my old self that kept me wanting to press on and strive forward.

But if you ever think of the “wonders” of writing we must know that in our lives as we are like the ‘protagonist’ there is always an ‘antagonist’ that keeps stopping whatever we might plan.

The protagonist which might be the believer in good, wants to live and serve and see great things happen because of the amazing change that has happened in their life. But the antagonist which is Satan wants to stifle anything that is good that keeps him the prince of lies from stopping his plans.

That was a battle for all of my senior year almost as soon as I started my movie project for the Lord.

And it seemed to end when things became too much. I could not handle it all! And I ended up in a psychiatric hospital, while my friends who were very concerned thought I was never coming back…

I was examined at a children’s hospital (I was young, only 17) then after they saw that something was definitely off they sent me to a place where I signed myself in.

My dad was with me every step of the way.

So fairly recently whenever my brothers would practice our songs we wanted to do that were covers I had mine from childhood but I thought about it in such a new way.

The words after that in a way tough experience made me feel like the music video I wanted to shoot would be about that time! The moments I thought I was dying and needed help. Having so many complicated feelings yet in being in some kind of rest. Thinking that time in the hospital I was going to be there that night. I called my dad a “visitor” and also was frustrated about how much he was trying to help me but his “helping” was getting overbearing beyond passing the line of what I was comfortable with, it felt!

And I was growing very claustrophobic and he wasn’t understanding what I was going through and wouldn’t leave the room even for a few seconds.

That was somehow this song! And when I thought of making the music video I had a flashback that made me feel like it had just happened yesterday…

and I would keep crying.

Those times really did seem tough but I easily forget the good things or the things where God rescued me from a lot. In this case He just wanted to show just how vast His love really was. (Note to reader: Read my first testimony post if you wonder what happened then).

It starts in the heart torn by sin and the bad daily things that happen in the world as one grows up. People turn to bad and dangerous things either too young or as they are trying to develop or maybe even when they are adults!

And yet like a “song” somehow there is a reminder that hope and love is still there.

But music really is a powerful thing. It can bring on emotions and bring to the forefront a lot of things to meditate on or just be a lot of fun!

As a bad part of life that I know all too well, this life is precious. Don’t make a bad decision that will end for you to early… because there is a love here that will take you to wondrous, amazing possibilities.

There is love. Learn about it, because it will save your life. And God bless you!