Monthly Archives: April 2021

Just Be Love- 4/27/21

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Three people died in my life over a period of about two years; I had another mental breakdown. I have had too many to count by now… sigh

Sometimes I’ve thought I’d known it all. I think I’ve gotten it all together yet God proves me wrong.

So many times I’ve thought I’ve unlocked the mysteries of God but then hardships happen that are beyond hard-to-take…

But we aren’t supposed to have all the answers. God is mysterious. There are things so mysterious about Him people try to comprehend them and don’t succeed. A pastor well-known on tv and has many books believes whole-heartedly in God yet doesn’t believe in the trinity. Another …. wait, I should say, and a so-called “pastor” I personally call an “over-comforter” only focuses on the good stuff in Christian life to the point I’ve found his way about things excruciatingly simple. Yet these people are human, people that are focused to do all they can for the glory of God. Maybe they are good at guiding anyone who loves Him or wants to improve themselves.

But hear this: God has mysteries we aren’t supposed to comprehend! I believe that is because He doesn’t want us to depend on ourselves or any worldly logic or even many “intellectual” discussions going from assumptions (science calls “theories” which according to a worldly intellect that has the highest I. Q., means something based on fact) etc. Scientific analysis that is proven to be a true about whether or not there is evidence in it, is still “but we believe THIS instead cuz this we believe is factual.”

God has many mysteries. Some people dubbed crazy religious nuts are the ones that are claimed incorrect and wrong. They might even be claimed “biased” or “incorrect based on data.” It’s not “fair.” Either thoughts, God is still the truth! Whether you think the world was founded by God or a huge round of trillion to one, hugely unfathomable circumstances.

God wants us to live for Him, and that’s that! God wants us not to have all the answers because we’re supposed to not have “everything to know” about the world and it’s many grand mysteries.

There is even a song I love. It’s an old hymn. It goes “if every stalk on earth a quill,” and a paper stretched out across the sky. Then in the tune you can picture ocean filled with ink, and if He wanted, could write about the love of God for anyone, for any people groups, for people just hurting for people suffering for people just wanting a friend, for people who just happen to label themselves “straight” or “gay” for people who struggle constantly fighting their drug habits, for people weary and sick of life giving their bodies away for people just sad they can’t do anything in life, for people who just want an ear to listen, for someone who listens to the news and is scared to death about Black Lives Matter and Antifa (Antifa though is worse. The founding of BLM has flaws but at least at the core of the people who are frustrated by it there is a people who are hurting, people sick of the horrible atrocities that happened during slavery, people sick of the injustices that they face in the world, awful prejudices and hate, being insecure to go out because they don’t want to be treated differently. That is understandable. But Antifa is just whiny bull-poop, haha!). God wants to show love to everyone, regardless of skin, creed, religion, even any form of struggle- to “drain the ocean dry.”

The love of God is vast and amazing. We’ve got to love not hate. We need to be for each other not be alone, we need to just love each other!

Lift up another in prayer. Show mercy and not judgement or seeing condemnation. We should not assume and think to judge, to condemn, before knowing each other but keep finding just how wonderful God, His people, His word, His majesty, His excellence, His patience, all things that are God’s that from whence He is, was, will work through and guide us, and many we just show love to one another.

Be a good example and love not hate. Be good to one another, not drive a stake in the middle of things, not shake things up when things are going well or to stir the pot and play things a certain agenda. Just be love!

Just please let’s all avoid the dern politics too, hehe! I myself became convicted of that. I’m a little ashamed more than I am about talking of things that really matter. I am a little ashamed to be a republican. Fanatics in the party sometimes drive a wedge between ones and not know someone by shouting at them before they truly know the issues. I am however not ashamed to be a Christian.

Just be love. Be love to and for each other. That’s all that God wants from us. And be love now because the world is ticking.

Blog Entry-4/14/21

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A lot has happened recently. I will hint of some of this here. I want to recount something brief here. But there is a little message at the end.

I guess what I want to do is tell just how much I kinda lost it recently. It’s a sad small world that what I will tell you happened around the time somebody just died (related to another person who I happened to talk about in my debut blog entry!).

Sometime after this tragic thing happened I just didn’t know what to do. I had been working constantly (and had to work non-stop where the week prior I got my vaccine shot which was set up for me the day before I was going to be off for two days) and I wasn’t sleeping too well and hadn’t been properly exercising either. The only time I moved around was at work and also if I spent any time with my buddy Paul.

Well I think because of being so busy living like this, maybe my old nature which is constantly worried, almost always afraid of things caused me to do this.

This might not be an interesting story. I just want to tell it because it’s something I feel like has kind of been passed on maybe generations with my family (at least with my dad, haha!). But we are seemingly worry warts.

My buddy (who might not want me to talk about his condition) has some health problems. So one day I was just hanging at home not doing much interesting I realized I hadn’t heard from him in what I thought was eleven hours! I freaked out. I couldn’t help it.

So I went to the convenience store in hopes he was hanging there cuz it was a place he enjoys being at and asked the man at the cashier section if he had come in.

He said no. Usually if I don’t hear from him he’s just there. A lot of people see him so much there as he is a very talkative guy and likes to chat with everyone. So now no one I knew saw him. I hoped he was at home. Then I had a comforting realization that I did remember hearing from him (in a way).

I saw that when I was about to text him last he must have just gone to bed. It said as I was messaging him (he never saw it) that he was last on it about 15 minutes ago.

Whew, what a relief!

Now a normal person would just go home and know logically things were okay and he would message me when he felt like it. Right?

Well not me at that moment! After I left I had a thought. I felt like I would be a jerk if I didn’t at least visit his house to see if he was alright. So after confusing myself walking one direction then the other I made it final. I would see him.

Then I walked the way there, walking around in public late at night towards his house. By the time I made it I hoped that there would be evidence he was alright. I got to the house, still a little upset that his lights were out. If his lights were on I’d find a reason to knock (I felt if they were off he’s probably trying to get sleep which he struggles with at that place because his neighbors are known to make a lot of noise. Not always but at the worst times!).

Then as if an air of comfort came to me again I remembered I saw that last time he was on. He must have been fine. I theorized he must have dozed off right around the time I thought of texting him and as I said before he has trouble sleeping.

So I left his place the door of his house without knocking and went straight home. I found out later he was completely fine.

So now… why did I say all that? I’ve got to tell ya that in the bible Philippians 4: 6-7 it tells us to “be anxious for nothing” to give our requests to God. It also tells us ways we can give our requests (prayers) and it seems to imply we must do so with dedication. Do so with a great purpose and be thankful for all He has done for us. To be anxious means one is not trusting what God already has had from the start… and that is complete control. Control of the world amidst the chaos. Control of you. Your life.

Why must we be so anxious? I don’t know. I’ve been struggling with that since the first time I was hospitalized. I was afraid of what I thought was real but even then I should have trusted Him. I hope that in this crazy road of life I can give up all my anxieties. And I think I can! Just as long as I’m not like Peter looking at the raging seas when Jesus told Him to keep His eyes on Him. Trust Him.

Goodnight.

I’m Back! – 4/14/21

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Hello readers! I hope you are doing well. I am sorry for the long drop in writing anything here on this blog. As you know last year was possibly the worst year this country (and entire world!) could face possibly. Going through this pandemic, I have been kind of in the front lines. Being a worker that is very vulnerable to people that I see day to day is tough though it was encouraging to see people I wouldn’t normally see (and I have been so appreciative of the kind words being told to me that they say for risking so much just to help them!)

While other places closed my work stayed open. I probably would have liked to stay home more often than not but in a way staying active in normal stresses of a work life probably kept me in good shape physically.

Anyway I almost halted writing a new blog entry but realized I had to give you guys something.

Just to tell you: I’m still here! I’m alive. And I pray that all of you are doing good as well!

I hope to see you again soon. If not “here” hopefully I’ve left a legacy on this earth, haha, so maybe we’ll meet again. For real. Just not in the way you might expect.

This current world with all the sickness and death is very frightening. Hopefully you can find comfort in the midst of it all. And God willing I can do guidance by the Holy Spirit from the One who guides me. Maybe I will get more chances to speak of the love of Jesus (Are you new here? Check out the many articles and reviews on this blog. There is a LOT of stuff!).

In closing may God look over your life journey, Jesus help you experience the broken but true path in life, and the Holy Spirit keep changing you.

With love in Jesus…